Ideas on Play Fighting

On our recent vacation my older boys both picked a bow and arrow set as their souvenir.  This year we have also introduced the concept of superheroes, foam swords, and plastic knives into our toy chest.  With all this interest in fighting I decided it was time to lay down some ground rules by doing an FHE on fighting and play fighting.  When I got done with planning it I thought a few others might benefit from the outline as well, so I decided to post it here (also, so I can find it when we need to review this concept in the future).  I should also give credit to a great blogpost on boys and weapons that was the inspiration for my lesson. 

FHE Lesson on Fighting

Opening song: Army of Helaman

The scriptures teach us that there is righteous fighting and unrighteous fighting.

Unrighteous Fighting

·         One of the Ten Commandments is “Thou shall not kill” (Exodus 20:13).  When Jesus came to Earth, he gave a deeper meaning to this commandment.  He said it is as bad to be angry with someone as it is to kill them.  (3 Nephi 12:21-22 and Matthew 5:21-22)

 Righteous Fighting

·         The Nephites and the Lamanites spent a lot of time at war with each other.  Even though they were fighting the same war, the Lord was unhappy with the Lamanites but blessed the Nephites.  This is because the Nephites were fighting for a righteous cause – defending their homes, liberties, families, and their right to go to church.  (Alma 43:45-47)

Captain Moroni is a wonderful example of someone who fought righteously.

“If Latter-day Saints are called upon to go into battle, they can look to the example of Captain Moroni, the great military leader in the Book of Mormon. Although he was a mighty warrior, he “did not delight in bloodshed” (Alma 48:11). He was “firm in the faith of Christ,” and his only reason for fighting was to “defend his people, his rights, and his country, and his religion” (Alma 48:13). If Latter-day Saints must go to war, they should go in a spirit of truth and righteousness, with a desire to do good. They should go with love in their hearts for all God’s children, including those on the opposing side. Then, if they are required to shed another’s blood, their action will not be counted as a sin.” ( True to the Faith: A Gospel Reference) (Picture 312 from GAPK)

Jesus taught that even if it would be righteous fighting, there are still times when choosing not to fight is better.

When the soldiers came to arrest Jesus, Peter tried to defend him and used his sword to cut off the ear of one of the soldiers.  Jesus told him to put his sword away and he healed the ear of the man who had been hurt. (Matt 26:51-52; John 18:10-11; Luke 22:51)

Sometimes, the way to repent of unrighteous fighting is to not fight at all. 

The Anti-Nephi-Lehites were Lamanites who fought unrighteously for many years.  Then they became converted to the Gospel.  They felt so bad about the unrighteous fighting they had been doing they buried their weapons of war so they wouldn’t be tempted to use them again.  Years later, when the Lamanites attacked them it would have been righteous fighting for them to defend their homes and families, but they still chose not to fight because they felt so bad about all the fighting they had done before.  (Alma 23-24, specifically Alma 24:17-18) (Picture 311 from GAPK)

Our Family Rules for Play Fighting:

1. ·         Play fighting where we are pretending to be bad, angry, or mean is not okay.  Play fighting where we are pretending to keep someone safe is okay.  No one should ever pretend to be the bad guy. 
2. ·         Soldiers train by practicing fighting each other.  Its okay to ‘spar’ with each other if we are pretending we are training.
3. ·         All life is precious.  We never pretend to kill someone or say we want to kill someone.
4. ·         If we don’t use our weapons appropriately, we will have to put them away for a little while.

Closing Song: I’m Trying to Be Like Jesus